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Many of you who may have some basic to intermediate astrology knowledge have heard of Vesta already. She’s understood as the asteroid of what can go wrong in sex or your own sexual self-expression. We’re talking about frigidity, chastity, promiscuity, sexual diseases, prostitution, trauma, etc.
However, this is not what Vesta is about.
Vesta is about what’s sacred to us in our sexuality/sexual self-expression. It’s about how sex in all its forms can be a portal to the self, to the soul, and to a deeper connection with Spirit/the Divine in whatever way you’d like to understand that.
The thing is though, our society is deeply traumatized and traumatizing when it comes to sex. We see porn and advertising that handles sexual expression like pictures of meat that’s on sale for the week. We hear jokes that are 99% body shame or insecurity that’s hidden in humor. We hear and see people being dumped for their lack of/amount of sexual partners, read statistics of how many women don’t have orgasms, and feel like the best they can have in sex is “no pain.”
In school, locker room conversations encourage people to see each other as conquest (and this is not just a “boys” thing, unfortunately), shame people for the ways their bodies are shaped/develop, and give people unrealistic standards… and shit advice on how to handle sexuality in general. And don’t get me started about the myths around “bigger is better.”
Even in the “sex-positive” cultures we see popping up more and more, the focus often lies on “creating the perfect sex life even for you!” While this sounds great, many (fortunately not all) people in those businesses simply pressure people even more to shape their bodies or sex life in some way or another. “You should have an orgasm too!” “Your body needs to be super sensitive to pleasure!” “The best stretches for sex!” “Lose weight, look prettier!” “Invest in yourself: these are my favorite toys, lubes, and lingerie sets!” “STEP INTO YOUR GODDESS SELF TO BE IRRESISTIBLE!” “But hey, always remember: accept your body exactly as you are, 24/7!” “Confidence is EVERYTHING in the bedroom!” “Be feminine!” “Masturbate approximately two times per week to step into your sexual superpower!”
Now, look at this from the perspective of already deeply insecure women and men who feel like they’re not enough sexually. These “sex-positive” tag lines often just give people ideas on why they should feel even worse about themselves.
Never mind that some of the advice given there, a) ignores underlying issues about why sex is a touchy subject, b) creates completely unrealistic standards that you’ll place on yourself and/or your partner, and c) is highly specific for specific people – meaning, it doesn’t work for everyone.
That being said, there are very good coaches and social media accounts that help people feel more confident about themselves, their bodies, what they like or love in sex, what they dislike or hate in sex, and about asking what they want. This is just a portion of the “sex-positive” world, but it’s a loud one.
Our society is not exactly healthy when it comes to sexuality, even if we take the real dark shadow of our world out of the equation (which I’m doing for the sake of this article since that would go too deep too quickly.)
Since each astrological planet, point, or asteroid speaks to a part of our psyche, our Vestas (a.k.a., the way we experience sexuality that’s deeply connected to the core of our being) are highly affected by this cultural context.
Vesta is the part of us that remembers how being with oneself, or with somebody else, can be deeply healing. It’s the part of us that says, “I want sex to connect me with someone else heart, body, mind, and soul.” And it’s the part of us that can go into those spaces and experience this massively vulnerable, courageous reality, and come back to Earth after.
Now, imagine that a place that is this vulnerable, this keen on connection, this sacred to you, is constantly bombarded with the same message: “You’re not enough, unless…” Cause that’s exactly what’s been happening for your entire life.
This is why Vesta is associated with sexual wounds.
However, there’s really good news here: Vesta is the point in our charts where we know we’re whole unto ourselves. Where we can give anything and everything away, and still remain connected to ourselves and the core of our beings.
Vesta is also the asteroid of sexual healing and recovery of the self – or hiding the self away from the world, whichever is needed at that moment in time. In sexuality, this can mean completely avoiding anything x-rated for a long period of time. It can also mean jumping in headfirst and diving deep to connect with parts of ourselves we’ve hadn’t had access to. Both are necessary at different stages of the healing journey. Vesta handles both.
So if you happen to have a strong Vesta, if you resonate with this article, or if you, well, happen to be a human being: then you can heal the same wounds Vesta carries for you.
Here are some pointers on what to do.
Vesta in the Horoscope
WARNING: this is just Vesta throughout the signs. There are also house placements, aspects, and the overall context of the chart to consider. Not just that, but other points in the chart carry similar information about wounds and healing paths. So this is just part of the overall picture.
Please consult a professional astrologer if you’d like a more comprehensive view of this subject. If you’re interested, here’s my booking link.
Aries: Anger work, learning how your No feels like, learning appropriate setting of boundaries and communication. Exploring different sides of your sexuality, letting go of conditioning from cultural backgrounds, religious teachings, etc. Choose partners who can handle you sexually plus friends you can chat with, and who’ll support you.
Taurus: Let yourself be deeply sensual. Your body decides. Learn what “No” and “Yes” feel like sexually. Learn what you enjoy. Give yourself time to open up, don’t rush. Safety comes first. Don’t have sex to buy yourself affection or safety. The biggest thing to heal wounding: learn to trust yourself and change your environment/partnership until you feel secure. Listen to your instincts and your heart. Physical healing-
Gemini: Just because something sounds like a good idea, it doesn’t mean your body is on board, so listen to both brain and body. The nervous system may play a huge role in sexual wounding (if you resonate with that). Explore and educate yourself to your heart’s content. Learn healthy sexual communication and not disconnect from yourself or your body.
Cancer: Safety, safety, safety, and when you’re done, prioritize safety. A.k.a.: learn to feel safe in your body. Choose a partner you feel safe with. Learn what makes a safe partner. Choose environments you feel safe with. Sex and heart are connected, so let them be connected. Casual sex is not your friend here. Heal parental wounds. Learn to open up and let a partner see you. Heal with trust issues.
Leo: Play in the bedroom. Inner child healing. Learn to hold space for all your emotions and that you’re safe to feel them. Right relationship to shame. Learn that you’re enough. Choose partners who make you feel wanted and maybe even loved. Self-expression through sex is HUGE here. Let yourself be theatrical, but not dramatic. Learn to put your sexual needs first.
Virgo: Sex is not an obligation. Sex is innate: not something you need to learn, get better at, or hone your body for. You don’t have to fill a quota of how much you masturbate/orgasm/have sex with a partner. For you, healing is innate: if you manage to stop listening to “should” and start listening to what feels right and let yourself enjoy that, you’ll know what you need to heal – and become one of the most sensual, sexual combinations of the zodiac.
Libra: Throw away the scorecards. Stop people-pleasing. Learn to speak about what’s not working. Learn to advocate for what you want. Love is not enough to create a fulfilling sex life, neither is beauty. Sex benefits from holding all extremes of human expression: that’s what you can do best. Learn how to be assertive about sexual boundaries. Stress relief before sex/about sexual topics may be helpful.
Scorpio: Complexity and nuance in sexuality may be your thing. You feel sexuality really deeply: the passion, the merging, but also the wounds, the fears, and the shame. Therapy may be very successful, should you intuitively feel called to that. Listen to sexual intuition. Kinkiness and power dynamics as tools for healing. Ritual in sex/sex to experience sacredness. Deep fear of sexual betrayal. Without the kind of life-or-death trust that is instinctual, sex may be more wounding than healing for you.
Sagittarius: Take a real hard look at your belief systems about sexuality, this goes especially for religious conditioning. Shame is your enemy. Educate yourself about other cultures or points of view around sexuality and sexual self-expression. See sex as a portal for self-discovery and discovering new aspects of life. Don’t be afraid to explore if that’s what you want to do.
Capricorn: You may get to access your sexuality later in life – say, mid-thirties – and that’s okay. Give yourself time. This also goes for new partners: let yourself go at your own pace. Traditional power dynamics or ways of having sex may be your thing: there are plenty of partners who’ll be happy to play that way with you. Treat mindsets of “sex as an obligation” like moldy cheese. Have safety nets in place. You don’t need to be perfect/performative. Mantra: “You’re having sex with them, not at them.”
Aquarius: Don’t be scared to get weird. With this combination, it’s education first, sex second. Get out of your head and into your body. Feel what’s good or not good, don’t just think it. Not all rules around sexuality will apply to you. Be with people that are your equal and won’t try to take away your freedom. Technology may be your friend, but be careful that you don’t numb your heart or body.
Pisces: Compassion is key, especially for yourself. Learn to forgive yourself. Learn you’re enough. Definitely learn to see your own needs and respect them. Treat your body’s No like it’s the most sacred thing in the world (it kind of is). Sex is love to you. Work with people to learn how to set boundaries, see red flags early, and not get manipulated into anything. Love your sensitivity. Feel it all. Empath.
Again, this is just a piece of the puzzle. If you’d like to have a more comprehensive look at your chart, I’m always here to chat.
Regardless of whether you leave me here, keep browsing, or reach out: thank you for being here. I appreciate you.
So much love,